Have not been blogging 4 very very long....

Jus wana u ppl to read this & think are we like this? It's very meaningful.....

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel.  For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say " take care " or "don't drive too fast" or "be good".  But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments that are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different. Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. "Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me."

We say I love you in many ways- with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone whom has not listened to the love we have tried to express. The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love that the other person is using.

A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love. The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.

Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.

LOVE is a happy thing. It makes us laugh. It makes us sing. It makes us sad. It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why. It makes us take. It makes us give. Above all else it makes us LIVE.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present with someone. It is a matter of being present to someone.

So remember...If you love someone, tell him or her.

Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what he or she means to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs. The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever.

havent been blogging... no time.. n perhaps.. not a habit.. but i read something meaningful.. will like to share..

Feeling Compassion Instead of Pity

Compassion is a far greater and nobler thing than pity.
Pity has its roots in fear and carries a sense of arrogance and condescension,
sometimes even a smug feeling of "I’m glad it’s not me."

As Stephen Levine says:
"When your fear touches someone’s pain, it becomes pity;
when your love touches someone’s pain, it becomes compassion."

To train in compassion is to know that all beings are the same and suffer in similar ways,
to honor all those who suffer,
and to know that you are neither separate from nor superior to anyone.

have not blog for a mth... aiyah... no time, too much commitments n stuff 2 do until i very exhausted... sian ah... dateline 4 my assignments is jus 3 days left... got 2 struggle thru.. most of them finished liao lor,.... hope i can finish, aiyah.. even took 3 days leave to try 2 complete assignments...

wasnt happy since saturday liao... till now still cant get over it..was trying ways 2 c someone on sat, but yet ultimately extremely disappointed n depressed 2 c him wif his gf. was totally stunned, without a word. it's like something so painful pierced thru my heart, blood oozed out. unbearable...jus felt like crying....loudly. was with weixin tat day... n suddenly she felt amissed, n asked me wat happened... oh.. she really one of my best friend who can read my mind very swiftly...wat a clever guess. was hard to accept the reality of seeing. didnt went home, stayed at mr wee's hse tat night... was unable 2 slp, heart was so painful...HEART_BROKEN. into pieces. 

was glad tat they celebrated my birthday on sun after registration, it must b weixin's idea, i couldnt b wrong, thks gal. but afterall, i wasnt happy at all, she shd noe.. veri tired, woke up so early, n didnt had a gd slp tat night, then had to rush dwn for tuition, was not in a mood 2 teach.. ask them do work, then i cant stand it, my eyes jus couldnt open, my students got 2 even tell me, cher..dun slp leh... aiyoh.. i told liao lor.. i veri tired. then i woke up after they kept talking 2 me, ok.. i was grumbling thru out the lessons, abt tat transparent door, my students also kept complaining. they just cant concentrate, with ppl looking at them, n they are always looking outside. wat a stupid idea to change the door to transparent, then every one can c wat;s inside the centre, stupid lor... ppl come n steal the things then the chairman got 2 bear the responsibility...

after the class at KB, much better at FS, i knew i wasnt in a gd state 2 teach, printed w/s 4 them instead, had a great chat with them while they do their work. signed photos as memories... they were so happy...

my heart has yet to settle down, was so eager 2 c him on mon morning again. haizzz, it's like a habit liao lor..but duno y, maybe god has planned nt 2 let me c him, but i tried ways...but still coulnt. probably he is nt working on monday. then i'm on leave the next 3 days... then also cant c.. aiyah..

Y IS REALITY SO HARSH ON ME????? sob sob  

aiyah... hav not written anything 4 more than a week. anyway, no time 2 do it...having no time 2 grap enough sleep either. wed 11th aug... planned 2 went dwn 2 see mr wee at the hospital.was so worried 4 mr n mrs wee, kept asking my auntie at work, wat they can eat...stuff like tat... ask alot...she even recommended mrs wee 2 c "Zhong Yi".chinese doctor. asked her which chicken essence 2 buy..cos alot different type.sort of sneaked out to buy after i fetch a student 2 sch. meeting mr yeo at newton mrt at 5pm.. oh... he msg me at 4 tat he ended class early... oh gosh... i left work at 3.55pm...hurried dwn was very lucky boarded a bus tat came just in time... ran after mrt knowing left 1min b4 mrt arrives...im like toot toot train... oh was lucky came b4 mr yeo did. mr yeo drove dwn to shop 4 his cake..n bananas..we were wondering wat type of bananas mrs wee wanted.hahah... indian bananas!!!travelled dwn 2 hospital.... glad his still ok... was very worried b4 seeing him. celebrating his birthday in the hospital... we were laughing can we light candles in his ward?  there's smoke detector lol...or there will be rain in the ward...hahaha... but we asked the nurse..she said yah we can light up the candles... sang birthday song.. took photos 4 him using my hp's camera...cut the cakes n ate it. was abt 2 leave then gain the courage 2 ask abt whether mrs wee's teaching next yr... founded in the end tat she doesnt noe mr wee doesnt want 2 teach... but she assured 2 tell me tat night.. oh abit worried after asking... cos i knew they quarrelled over this issues b4... so scared tat they quarrel over it again... n at his state now...

waited the whole nite 4 the answers... but no reply.. even more worried.. talk 2 weixin wat 2 asked the both of them.. regarding rc stuffs... went 2 sleep very late...

haha, i hav got quite gd memory.. can remember so detailed ...things tat happen more than a weeks stuff..

thur 12 aug... was telling my auntie dun feel like going 2 work tat day... so tired. was hoping the time would b 3pm tat day..cos it;s students' nap time..n i could also grap some slp..hehe..but i didnt sleep. aiyah... was so worried how things have gone thru in the hospital. nite time got course 2 attend, was looking forward..but still worry. packed my things,had my dinner super early then take mrt to tanjong pager. on the way called weixin asking her how things have gone thru, everything settled was settled according 2 her.thanks 2 her too. was very early 4 class. searching 4 familiar faces.. settled dwn, oh.. another big guide bk given 2 us.was at first happy with the grouping.. but ended up unhappy cos my friends in my group was so enthusiastic to change grp, n they managed 2 found ppl 2 change grouping... im so worried..was not really paying attention 2 lesson, but manged 2 settle my mind by telling myself..i dun think we can change at our own's will so easily...if so the mangement will nt hav done the grping. but i did find some1 2 change grp but tat person refuse. so nvm. on the way, called weixin... so glad of her... she talked 2 me thru out the whole bus journey hm which was abt 1 hr until 1 of my hp no batt.. reach hm abt 11.30pm. veri late lol. switch on computer...to type in excel for FS timetable, do until veri late.

13 aug( unlucky as people have said, it;s the fri the 13th). veri tired as usual.. hahah receive a msg tat weixin couldnt open fs's door as mrs wee gave her the wrong key, no choice got 2 go kb, carrying her big, heavy textbook. poor thing!! got a chance 2 actually make fun, scare her..at abt 2pm, but didnt do it instead, cos spotted my student 2 fetch him back.. im like their mummy like tat.. taking n bringing them. aiyah...heh lucky u, weixin!! went 2 meet weixin at KB at 4 plus...walked 2 FS, then did she found out she gotten the correct key, jus tat she duno how to open!!! settled dwn... doing my FS timetable, real headache, wanted 2 go hm n sleep but didnt. called lucinda abt whether she can change her timeslot 4 tuition 2 fri. went hm at 6.30pm, had dinner, then rush 4 private tuition, on the way, brought bread 4 weixin, c her so poor thing didnt had anything 2 eat, except she had eaten her more than half leftover duck rice she had left for lunch. POor thing.. after tuition, met up wif weixin again... had chatted wif quite a while b4 we parted different ways home.   went hm, settled fs timetable again... finally finished... but couldnt sent 2 mr yeo, cos yahoo networking nt working well. gave up sending... went 2 slp.

14 aug, slept until 11.30am... go online..sent FS timetable 2 mr yeo. then surf net etc. no time 2 blog..cos going dwn KB 2 mark students' bks. didnt finish marking in the end, went 2 buy something 2 eat, was damn hungry... went 2 fs later. still hungry after eating 2 bread. wanted 2 mark p3 maths bk, in the end did nothing... except marking english papers. Xinwei came, trying 2 settle the topics n wkshts for him 2 relief tml. rx came early, he's there 2 disturb me again. hahah havent finish book he lent me last wk, they went 2 buy french fries...wah,..so hungry again.. got 2 eat abit..heheh. then, got 2 play a small little joke with Xinwei by hiding his bag... was laughing at the way he's searching 4 his bag... im like a little girl, still doing such things..hahah. went 2 my locker 2 put things, then found out my locker name tag was lost, still wondering who hate me so much 2 take away tat. went hm 2 change 4 national day dinner. had grap a bit of food with weixin n xinwei at 85 market b4 dinner. went back 2 fS after tat... as wat i had expected.. mr yeo questioned abt xinwei, which i had earlier told weixin i was worried abt, as i told weixin 2 let him teach 2nd class instead of the 1st class, as mr yeo will definitely ask. had a hard time answering him, we discussed abt timetables b4 dinner. ok, nt bad, the performance n food were ok...better than the one i had at tampines. went back FS after dinner... asked lucinda abt her decision.she was a bit reluctant 2 answer me.. but did frankly tell me her views. she was abit angry..n told me off. but i try 2 calm her dwn then. i knew its partly our fault, n i agreed wif her tat we didnt respect her of changing the timetable without her knowing, but im really sorry 2 tat extend, tat i HAVE NO CHOICE. im STRUCK IN BTW TOO.

the rest of the days... to be continued...no time 2 write....

too tired 2 write yesterday although i gone online. yesterday was reali nt a very smooth day. Although it's national day but got 2 wake up early 2 interview the new tutors....sian... but kind of used 2 it, as we have been doing national day interview every year. on my way 2 meet weixin 4 breakfast, Mr wee msg me telling me he wont be coming bcos he's sick,  my first thought was he's escaping fr reality again, it's nt the first time he msg me at the very last min he cant make it. then, i called mr yeo immediately, he was shocked too, n paused a few times while talking. i lost my mood, dun feel like going liao... but i'm thinking if i nvr go mr yeo will hav 2 settle all by himself which will be cruel n adding more stressed 2 him.

after meeting weixin, we went 2 buy breakfast, called pat 2 ask if they wanted breakfast too, but yeo said nt in gd mood 2 eat. while going rc, me n weixin said better dun talk 2 mr yeo...as he will scold ppl when he's in bad mood. after tat... it's better alreadi. the whole interview was ok, jus tat we are unsure of the classes tat's available 4 woodlands n KB, blamed myself 4 not bringing the necessary stuffs along.

we had lunch onli after 2 plus...very hungry liao, ordered Mcdonald. had some laughters cos me n WX being suan of my grammatic speaking, n her spelling. hahah. then,we discussed abt the new tutors.

We went karoke with Yeo, Pat, Weixin, ShiMing n me. thought of nt going at first cos wanted 2 watch ndp(have nvr missed it, this is the only year i nvr watched, a bit disappointed). on the way, mr yeo's phone rang... felt strange the way he spoke 2 tat person. questioned yeo n found out Mr wee was hospitalized n will b staying 4 a wk. yet 2 know wat reali happen to him.

went home feeling very tired, surf the net 4 awhile n went 2 bed.

Today, dun feel like waking up, but dun wana missed the bus i wanted 2 take. waited 4 so long, yet no bus comes along...thinking today wouldnt be able 2 c him...reach my company, get very frustrated when the students dun want 2 cooperate wif one another while playing n even argued back. sickening!!!! cool dwn while they were doing work. called weixin when the students were watching vcd (spiderman) in the room. fr weixin knowing tat mr wee's is in critical condition, n mrs wee cant leave the hospital as anything might happen 2 him.very worried, although wx said he looks alrite. both of them are very weak. was telling wx they must hav been very stressed up, but y they dun speak up n tell us their problems, y must they burdened themselves with all this. share it, u might feel more comfortable. sudden feel of guilt as i think sometimes i'm like pushing him 2 settle certain things(timetable, mrs wee's class). we are like jumping into conclusion without knowing wat really hapen 2 them n blamed them 4 the irresponsibility. there are things we yet 2 know btw them. [most humans will make the same mistakes, as 2 jump into conclusion, wtihout knowing the reason of the roots].

Also found out tat, he almost died yesterday as the doctor put the drip which he's allergy to, n sent him to coma straight after he called mr yeo yesterday. yet 2 know how come he fainted, doctor put him thru a few tests, the outcome will onli be out today. whether he will survived will also need 2 c if he can go thru today. lots of thoughts after knowing, thought of my father too, abt the same senario, fainted first, went into emergency room, doctor dont know why he fainted, gone thru a few tests, predicted tat he might have a 2nd time stroke, might not b able 2 survive thru tat night. didnt use oxygen mask 2 breathe, only on drip. nothing seems 2 hapen tat whole night, me n mother spent the whole night in hospital, was unable 2 tahan, went home in the morning. afternn, a call fr hospital telling us 2 come immediately. it's thurs, can still remember... i'm having tuition, msg WX n mr wee 2 help me. went 2 hospital, saw my father.......i was dumbfounded. unwillingly 2 face the reality. cried n cried n cried....lots of thoughts in my mind. mr wee msg asking wat had hapen, i firstly refused 2 say... then told him everything. cried n cried again while msging. cried while writing this too......

the only relieved part will be hearing that mr wee could still talk n recognize ppl, still in clear state of mind, but my father couldnt. afraid tat he might hav stroke.could feel how mrs wee is feeling now, somemore, pregnant, she must be having alots of pressure. Hoping tat everything will be still ok, both mr n mrs wee will b in gd health.

dun want 2 think further after dunno why weixin hung my phone suddenly, then realised it might be low batt. carried on with marking my wkshts, then realised its 4pm, going home time, aiyah...a bit late missed the bus i wanted 2 take...thought couldnt c him, or he's nt working 2day. got up bus, then a bus past by n i saw him, was happy but i doubt he c me. but nvm. doesnt want 2 think too much....

tml will b visiting Mr wee, hope he's perfectly alrite.